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Judy's Post      April 2013

4/24/2013

1 Comment

 
Red Mud Mist Rising

I could say it's over

the horror

that stained our lives


Just flashes now

a signal lamp

punctuating time

replicating pain


Faces hung like lanterns in the dark

battle noise

the trembling ground

and red mud mist

rising in the rain

J Bandidt   ©    April 2013

1 Comment
Lyn
5/3/2013 11:20:14 pm

Judy – I love this one. You’ve set the bar high for your next collection of war poems. I like the repetition of the ‘r’ sound – horror, red, rising, rain. And the echoes of stain, pain, rain. I like the move from the present to an imagined past, echoes of battle, darkness and patches of light from the signal lamp. This poem has all the senses – I can even taste that mud. I especially like that sense of collective guilt – ‘stained our lives’. The guilt won’t go away.

I did stumble over the title, wonder if maybe you could lose a word? ‘Red Mist Rising’?

I won’t forget those faces ‘hung like lanterns’ for a long time.

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