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Judy's June Post

6/1/2013

2 Comments

 
GONE

Time and again I have returned to this place

where I last saw my companions.


They are not here. They are gone

as surely as the day is gone

when swallowed up by night.


Try as I might I cannot find them.

I search in vain. All I see is

emptiness littering the landscape

from my feet to the horizon.


I cannot go where they are gone.

I cannot follow in their footsteps.

My destiny lies along a different path.


With a heavy heart

I turn toward the setting sun.

Judy Bandidt    ©   May, 2013

 

[Inspired by the 'Journeys of Marco Polo'.]

2 Comments
Lyn Browne
6/13/2013 11:09:20 pm

I'm afraid I missed the Marco Polo reference! But a haunting poem, and I note from the date it was written, early January, that there was a definite 'taking stock' mood, very sombre, and the mood doesn't lighten - look at that ending, 'heavy heart' and 'setting sun'.

Just one little suggestion: I think the poem's symmetry might be improved upon if you reduced that third stanza to three lines, then the poem would be 2,3,3,3,2.
Can I offer:

Try as I might I cannot find them.
I search in vain. From my feet to the horizon
all I see is emptiness.

Otherwise, a nice poem, if rather bleak.

Reply
Dee link
7/7/2013 02:52:09 pm

Hullo Judy, So very sad. It somehow reminded me of the sentiments I had when writing A new Day (in Landscapes), though the setting is different. Something about the melancholy attracts me and I liked it.

Reply



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