pentepoets.com
  • Home
  • Pente history
  • Meet the poets
    • Judith Bandidt
    • Lyn Browne
    • Brad Drew
    • Susie Faint
    • Deanne Lister
    • Ron Wiseman
  • Selected poems
    • Poems by Judith
    • Poems by Deanne
    • Poems by Lyn
    • Poems by Susie
    • Poems by Brad
    • Poems by Ron
  • Books on Sale
  • Gallery
  • Poetry Trail
  • Reviews
    • Comments
    • Reviews
  • audio Maleny
  • audio Little Yabba
  • audio Montville
  • Poetry Trail Story
  • MALENY TRAIL POEMS
  • MONTVILLE TRAIL POEMS
  • LITTLE YABBA SITE POEMS
  • Hinterland Poems audio
  • POETRY TRAIL ARCHIVE
  • CO
  • H to H recordings

Judy's August Poem

8/27/2015

2 Comments

 
Old Friends

We owe them much,
our friends from times past,
yet they fade now
from the consciousness of most.

We should, when we stop to reflect,
recall how they threw themselves
without complaint
against the collar of hard times,
never tiring, calmly facing the unknown.

We should remember
long treks through landscapes
harsh and unforgiving,
the laden coaches and wagons,
heavy ploughs and cruel winches,
droving camps, wild bush cattle musters,
the terror of the battlefield
and certain horrific fate.

Remember too
the courage, strength,
patient companionship,
dignity and innate gentleness
of these old friends.


there is something about the outside of a horse
that is good for the inside of a man
—attributed to Winston Churchill

 

J Bandidt  ©

August 2015

2 Comments
lyn
9/2/2015 08:43:09 pm

I love the way this poem moves outwards, from the personal memory of horses in your past to addressing the horse's place in Aussie history - of settlers, and of WW1. And the lack of punctuation seems to work well. Only a few little suggestions - I would omit 'so' from the opening line, it hovers on the edge of gushing. And I would begin stanza 2 with 'when we stop to reflect' and then later include 'we should recall'. In the 3rd stanza, how about 'land', rather than landscape? Somehow it sounds craggier! I am hovering over the final line of this verse, I wonder if something as blunt as 'certain death' would carry more weight?
Great quotation of Churchill's by the way. I won't go on to consider his role in Gallipoli in WW1 ...

Reply
Judy
9/9/2015 02:31:50 pm

Thank you, Lyn. Good critique. I'll revisit the poem before November.
Judy

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Archives

    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    May 2015
    October 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    April 2013
    February 2013
    December 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012

    Categories

    All
    Australian Poetry
    Fantasy
    From Abroad
    Life Poems
    War Poems

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly