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Judy Post - July

7/21/2014

3 Comments

 
Mont St Quentin

By a half-ruined wall the soldiers huddle.

The artillery is quiet now—

In the eerie silence amid the rubble fragments,

stripped leaves and broken branches,

a pebble rattles beneath a boot.

Dust trickles, settles.


Knee-high, an unexploded shell

lodged deep within the wall

draws sick fascination.


The next few minutes will decide their destiny.

What lies behind the wall?

Grim faces tell the story many already know.

They've written their last letters

entrusted to CO or friend.


Now their lives have come down to this--

One moment in time

crouched behind a wall

half-way up a hill overlooking Peronne

in Flanders, 1918.

 

© J Bandidt

Written at Mont St Quentin,  June 2014.

3 Comments
Dee Lister
7/23/2014 05:43:07 pm

This is timeless in spite of the date at the end. It could be in any war zone even now. Heart-rending! In these few lines you express the hopelessness and frustration of war at all times. I am there too.

Reply
Lyn
7/30/2014 08:12:56 pm

Dee is right, this could be any war, and especially any of the wars happening now. If you were to omit the final two lines, which locate it (apologies, I know you want to locate this poem) you could just end with 'one moment in time crouched behind a wall half-way up a hill' which I find totally heart-breaking. You've managed to put yourself, and us, right there on a battlefield, which is quite an achievement..
I do have some suggestions though! Could you omit 'beneath a boot' in the opening stanza? Somehow the tension would be increased, I think. And I would prefer 'fate' and not destiny, that's just a personal preference but its a one-syllable word and goes with the tautness of that stanza, all those short words.
I was really moved by this poem, thank you.

Reply
Seth D link
4/16/2021 01:14:39 pm

Great post tthank you

Reply



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