Poems to share from the Pente Poets.

Hi Pente poets

I'd like some comments on the following styles for the same poem. Which one works best?

Blood on the sand  

soldier crabs emerge
scurry for safety
dig in—confuse the enemy

beyond the beachhead
wet sand gleams—shimmers--
collapses into distant haze

I dawdle in the sun—scuff tidemarks idly--
battle plans drawn
there’s sand between my toes

seagulls hover—intelligence drones
bold eyes assessing
fisherman? forager?

interest wanes—wings tilt--
new heading back to base--
glide to safe landing

sandhills deploy--
a khaki army marches
 through occupied territory

white tops attack—withdraw
engage frenetic action--
foam missiles spray

black rocks appear—higher ground
command position--
send out a scout—advance

concealed oyster shard mine--
a careless step—a sudden hurt--
blood flows

as on other sands--
blends with salt water--
is washed away

wounded I retreat
gulls’ legs skitter before me
red as the blood on the sand


A poem composed on an early morning beach walk. I was thinking about war poetry, and suddenly the images all around me were military in nature. The soldier crabs sent me down that path. (2012)