2015 Poetry Trail poems

5/22/2015

On Ilkley Road

a road going nowhere
coyly meandering
destination unknown

pocked dapples flicker by
darkness draped verges
forest is screaming

eyes wander ...
mind drifts ...
shadow soldiers falling

on a road going nowhere
shadow soldiers fall

J Bandidt © May, 2015

2 Comments

Lyn

5/27/2015 09:05:51 pm

Hi Judy, you won't be surprised to learn that I really like the sparseness of this one, its brevity, and the lack of punctuation which somehow adds to the dreamlike, half-conscious state. The title means nothing to me - is it connected with a battle I should know about? The poem is stark, the aimless daydreaming sets up the shock of the end. I like the repetition of the first line, and that final 'fall'. Its a poem that one can't exactly get a grip of, like those ghosts of battles past. I like 'flicker' and then 'falling' and that final 'fall', it works well.
Only one word I might think of changing: 'coyly' doesn't seem to me to sit well with the tone. How about 'idly'? Or 'aimlessly'?
Lovely poem though. Lyn

Deanne

6/11/2015 03:03:57 pm

Hi Judy, I know this road! Perhaps that helps me see your thoughts in this poem. The soldiers are made by the light of the sun falling through the tall trees on either side as the road winds its way along the escarpment. It can be quite eerie! I agree with Lyn that the word "idly" might fit better. Good poem! Dee

2015 Poetry Trail poems

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